In 2014 the combination of mass marketing and urban slang creates a confusing lingo that borders on comedy of the absurd.  As if women and some men don’t already have body issues, our culture slaps on a labeling system for our appearance and clothes that is a whole new language you must closely study to understand – and be very careful not to use out of context.  I love baking and eating.  I love muffins, especially the muffin tops.  The muffin top is the best part of the muffin.  It usually has the strudel topping, extra berries, or the pat of butter you add when it’s hot.  Sounds delicious, right?  Well you would never say that if you are under 30 years old.  Today “muffin top” is the term for that extra bit of fat we have above the waistline.  If someone decides to wear pants with a tighter waist band, the muffin top could turn into a jumbo muffin top.  I’m not kidding.

Photo Courtesy of Bryce Palmyra
Let’s talk about the popular shapewear that women use to reduce their muffin tops, although I’m still sad that the muffin top has been desecrated by urban lingo.  Yummie Tummie is the newest line of fashion girdles to squeeze and smooth body parts that give us a little trouble under our clothes.  It is confusing again because I love things that are yummy; I love to eat yummy treats.  Putting on Yummie Tummie makes your torso very constricted.  It is kind of like the beginning of anaphylaxis when you starting feeling like you can’t breathe and everything gets tight and woozy.  Good thing I keep an Epi-Pen in my purse.  So I guess the word yummy is out now too.
 
And finally, everyone is driving around with junk in their trunks.  We keep the tools, trash, sporting equipment, etc. as part of our “junk in the trunk.”  But in 2014, Junk in the Trunk means those extra inches around our waists or backsides.  What if you innocently ask someone to help you clean out the junk in your trunk?  It could spell disaster for a relationship and major embarrassment!  Maybe you need to purchase a Yummie Tummie to help you with the junk in your trunk instead.
 
While the lingo for our bodies being curvy has expanded, our clothing has seemingly gotten smaller – way smaller.  The most popular style of pants right now is the Skinny Jean.  It is simply unfair.  Skinny Jeans are tiny little pants that are made to fit people that are super thin; like being infested with tape worms thin.  They are in every store and every popular magazine.  Talk about a conundrum!  Think about the stress on women!  So, my best idea to solve our problem with dressing in this very confusing new ‘food as words’ culture we find ourselves in is this:  Get a pair of Yummie Tummie to squeeze the muffin top and junk in the trunk into your skinny jeans.  And by all means, be very careful with your words! 


#junkinthetrunk  #muffintop #skinnyjeans  #yummietummie #yummy

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